piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Is Oprah even human
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize