if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
