I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
