i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
