Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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