I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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