I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
