Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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