When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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