So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
