May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Oh god it's open bar.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
