i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the day after is always just damage control
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
