i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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