her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
you never un-have a 4some
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
