as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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