i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
