i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
