They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Rumble strips road head = magical
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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