For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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