i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
