No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ugly people sure do ruin things
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
