absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize