you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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