can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
