I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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