even my farts smell like vagina
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
