I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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