her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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