...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
