Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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