so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sorry about my life...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
