its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
