Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
