I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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