hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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