If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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