i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize