it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize