Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
