Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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