My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
