YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We are all done wearing pants today
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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