pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
