So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
