What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
