I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
