i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
