i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
