awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Pooping to opera.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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