Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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