didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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