SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
