You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
