I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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