Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
