from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
