He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize