There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
