is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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