just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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