Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How many fucks given?
0.12846
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
