He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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