wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
