new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
