Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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