i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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