Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
