wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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