____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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