Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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