DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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