It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
