Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
